BEING SINGLE!

1 Corinthians 7:32-37 TLB

In all you do, I want you to be free from worry. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please him. [33] But a married man can't do that so well; he has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. [34] His interests are divided. It is the same with a girl who marries. She faces the same problem. A girl who is not married is anxious to please the Lord in all she is and does. But a married woman must consider other things such as housekeeping and the likes and dislikes of her husband. [35] I am saying this to help you, not to try to keep you from marrying. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few other things as possible to distract your attention from him. [36] But if anyone feels he ought to marry because he has trouble controlling his passions, it is all right; it is not a sin; let him marry. [37] But if a man has the willpower not to marry and decides that he doesn't need to and won't, he has made a wise decision.

 

The umarried diliema! To be married or not to be, that is a huge issue today! The Bible view of staying single or marrying marrying is often misunderstood but Paul tells us in verses 7-8: “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his gift from God; one has this gift, and another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” Notice that he says some have the gift of singleness and some have the gift of marriage. Paul did not have to worry about the problems and stresses that come with marriage and/or family. He devoted his entire life to spreading the Word of God.

Singles are those without a spouse, including the unmarried (never marriad, divorcees, and sometimes the widowed. The scriptures don’t set an absolute standard for marriage for anyone. Scripture teaches that each person seeks the will of God for their life. For some, it will lead to marriage. For others, it will be a single’s life.

The single man or woman can attend to Godly things without distration as Paul explains becaue the married person has many responsibilities that may become distractions in pursuing God.

In the Christian culture, singleness often seems an anomaly. Imagine how many singles have had to answer church folk’s awkwardly asked questions of, "Where's your husband?" “Are you not married?” why, when are you getting married, what are you waiting for? And many such questions. You hear the silent “tsk” over a single’s state and being told events are couples or married only. Although there are single and unmarried men around, it would seem that the stigma of singleness is only reserved for women.

When communities tailor activities around families and couples, it overlooks the singles, marking them as unimportant and defensive, yet most of Paul’s teaching was an encouragement to the unmarried. Single or married, our purpose is the same, to serve and honour God and serve others.

But what if I want to marry? Is that wrong? No!

God made men and women for each other. It is good when the right mates find each other says Proverbs 18:22, and tragic when a marriage falls apart, short of God’s glorious plan as seen in Genesis 2:18.

People should not feel pressured to get married or remain single to societal expectations. Ask God to lead you concerning marriage and the right partner.

It’s not wrong to want to be married. However, we often overlooked singleness as a protection from being in a terrible, unbiblical marriage. While many Christian singles wish they were married, one way they might be able to appreciate their singleness is by realizing how unhappy they could be if they were trapped in a dysfunctional marriage. Proverbs 21:9 says to be careful whom you marry! It is better to be single than to marry someone who does not love God, cheats on you, abuses and beats you or just ignores and neglects you. Sadly, so many have been pressured into wrong marriages.

The Bible says singleness is a gift because it gives us a greater opportunity to focus on God, but the world says it’s a fatal flaw if one is not married and maybe it’s because of attitude, personality, appearances, behaviour and anything else that fits.”

We mustn’t make the singles feel like they need a spouse for completion and affirmation. That’s only found in God. Marriage is not the final solution to our problems; God is!

Marriage is a gracious, good gift from God, as Proverbs 31:10-12 exclaims, “An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Amen!

If God is not at the centre of our lives and we think a husband/wife would be, that marriage is already doomed because, without God, marriage just brings together two self-centred people seeking self-fulfilment from one another. Put God at the centre of your life. Pray that He will bring you the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh as Genesis 2:23.  Then joyfully serve Him together!

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

-        Do you see singleness as a gift or a burden? How does your perspective align with Paul’s teaching?

-        In what ways can you use your current season of life—single or married—to serve God more fully?

-        Have you ever felt pressured by cultural or church expectations about marriage? How did you respond?

-        What practical steps can you take this week to deepen your relationship with God, regardless of your marital status?

PRAYER: Father, thank you for showing me that my worth and identity are found in You alone. Whether single or married, my purpose is to glorify You and serve Your kingdom. Let my joy and fulfillment be rooted in Christ alone as I surrender my desires to You, knowing that You are enough for me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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